Food

Food Jokes

Brownie

Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.

"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.

"Indeed, they are," he was told.

"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"

Potato

If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.

But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.

Sex

What do sex and food have in common?

My sister makes it better than my cousin.

Dog

Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?

A: Either way they'll kill your dog.

Oreo

Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?

Because daddy never came back home with the milk.

Chef

An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.

He called them: "Asperger's."

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  • Salad

    Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.

    Broccoli

    So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”

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  • Cannibal

    Two cannibals are eating a clown, when one cannibal looks up and asks the other cannibal: "Does he taste funny to you?"

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  • Face

    Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.

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  • Marshmallow

    Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.

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