Joe Biden walks into the White House kitchen.
"Are those brownies I smell?" he asks.
"Indeed, they are," he was told.
"Gee," he says, "they smell nothing like Girl Scouts!"
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: "Asperger's."
I named my horse Mayo.
Mayo neighs.
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
Want to know how you make any salad into a caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
Where do you learn to make ice cream? -- Sundae school.
What is the most musical part of a chicken?
The drumstick.
What kind of bagel can fly?
A plain.
I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
What does an evil hen lay?
Deviled eggs! 😈🥚
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
What is purple and whines when it’s squished?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇😂
What do you call a white girl having a seizure? A vanilla shake.
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
