Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
What is Africa's most played game?
The Hunger Games.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
What do girls and noodles have in common?
They both wiggle when you eat them.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
