Food jokes

Why did the lemon 🍋 go to the doctor 👩‍⚕️?

Because he had a sour stomach.

Did you hear the joke about the butter?

What is it?

I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.

What do you call a gay barbecue?

LGTBBQ.

Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?

It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?

Bone-appetit!

I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Your mom.

What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?

I don’t put fruit in a blender.

Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?

Mash potato.

What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

What did the cake say to the fork?

"Do you want a piece of me!!!"

Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

Where do keyboards go to have dinner?

The space bar!!!

I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.

My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."