Food jokes
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.
So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂
Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.
A: Carrot 🥕
My chocolate babe is calling my name, and now I'm about to get my chocolate freak on.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
One gets picked.
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
Why is there no medication in Africa?
Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."
What type of flour do you buy an orphan? Self-raising.
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Apple
Orange you glad I didn't say apple again?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Cabbage.
Cabbage who?
Cabbage doesn’t have a last name.
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
I ate all of your mommy's orphans.
I find bananas very appeeling.
Applesauce.
Hey Gwen! What is a bean's specialty? Being a jerk!
Why were the baker's hands brown?
Because he was kneading a poop.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
Where do smart hotdogs end up?
On the honor roll!