Food jokes
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What do you call a gay barbecue?
LGTBBQ.
Why do gay men like the filling in Hostess Twinkies?
It reminds them of cum. 😋 😍 😏 😜
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
Slapped cheese on my white friend, told him I like cheese on my crackers.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What’s the difference between fruit and dead babies?
I don’t put fruit in a blender.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What would you find on a haunted beach?
A sand-witch!
"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"
I was watching my boyfriend's dog while he took a shower. I started playing fetch with him when the ball went over the balcony. He went to get it and fell 10 stories. When I looked down, he appeared to be dead.
My boyfriend loved his dog and I didn't know what to do, so feeling awful, I sat on the couch and waited for him to come back. About three minutes later he got out of the shower. He ordered some food and went to the table to eat when I said, "You know, your dog's been a little depressed lately..."