Food jokes

I want to be like pizza so I can get cut into 8 pieces.

What two things can you never have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner!

Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.

Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple always gets picked.

What’s long and black?

The line at KFC.

Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!

Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.

What do you call a tamal that's in a bed?

Tamaleto.

What do you get when you gobble down sweets?

How is your cereal? Oh, wait.

1. What do you call cheese that's not yours? Nacho cheese.

2. Knock, knock. Who's there? Ash. Ash who? Achoo!

3. How does the ocean say hello? He waves.

4. Why can't Elsa have a balloon? Because she will let it go.

5. What do you call your enemy? You don't call it at all.

What did the spaghetti say to the sauce? Pasta la vista!

My ill sis said, "Why did the bear say no to ice cream?" and I said, "Why?" She said, "'Cuz it's stuffed!"

I fed some chickens some eggs. They ate them. Nothing else to explain except they are cannibals.

I cried when my dad cut onions.

Onions was a good dog.

What do suicidal people and apples have in common?

They both hang from trees.

Why do orphans eat cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.

What do kids call a balanced meal?

A hamburger in each hand! XD XD XD XD

What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.

My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.

So I threw an orange at her.