Food jokes
Why are french fries rude?
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.
What's a cannibal's favorite dessert?
Lady fingers.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
What's the difference between milk and my dad?
Nothing, I apparently am allergic to both because I never see either of them.
Yo mama so fat, her cereal bowl has a lifeguard.
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Life is like a raisin cookie you expected to be chocolate.
Disappointing.
I want an almond-flavored biscuit.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion? I cry when I cut up onions.
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!