Food jokes
What is it called when corn stalks have a baby?
The cream of the crop.
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
What do you call it when a man wants food in Panera?
Panera bread serving food.
Why does the orphan have water with its cereal?
Their dad never came back with the milk.
Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
What kind of udder likes McDonald's?
Udderly unhealthy.
Guy: You won't eat a human, so why do you eat meat?
Other Guy: It is bold of you to think I won't eat a human.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
Follow for candy, kids.
Like for pizza, kids.
Comment for kids.
If a tomato is a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
So, I took a poop outside. When I was done, I wiped and got it on my finger. After that, I had Nutella, and I thought the poop on my hand was Nutella, and I licked it. I said, "Daddy chill, what in the heck is this crap?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
A sandwich walks into a bar.
Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
Joe Mama so fat, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl!
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.