Food jokes
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!
I told my friend an egg joke yesterday.
He thought it was eggcellent.
What does a Tusken Raider eat after his meal?
Some desert!
I dipped my hand in red food dye, so I said, "Looks like I’ve been caught red-handed!"
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
What is the difference between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg, but you can't beat your...
What do you call a cow who walks on two legs?
Lean beef.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Wanna hear something twisted?
A pretzel.
What did the bird do when he ate the expired worm?
He flew up!
Why do orphans hate Costco? Because they can't get in and try the free samples.
When you're at school and you have to wipe your ass, but it's only one ply...
Your finger breaks through... mmm, finger lickin' good.
What happens when you put a baby in a blender?
The baby is a cherry smoothie.
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
How do you know if you're making a Caesar salad? Stabbing it 23 times.