Food jokes

Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.

Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?

Actually, I shouldn't spread it.

What do you call a feminine cow?

A dairy queen.

What do gay men like cocks?

🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋

What do you call a dog with no legs?

My asian neighbors dinner.

What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?

Seizure salad.

Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.

No matter how much I love cake...

I would never dessert you.

A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"

Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.

Curry.

I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.

Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.

This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.

What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry peeling onions!

A wife and husband had been on a strict diet, and the wife said, "You know, we've been good about our diet. Let's have a cheat night tonight." The wife came home with KFC and Wendy's. The husband came home with Sylvia from the office.

For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.

I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.

Them: You want some Lucky Harms?

Me: What are Lucky Harms?

Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.

What's the difference between meat and fish?

If you beat your fish, it'll die.