Food jokes
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Memes
why??
Do you wanna hear the gossip about butter?
Actually, I shouldn't spread it.
What do gay men like cocks?
🍦🍦🍦 they like the cream filling 😋
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 Big Macs.
No matter how much I love cake...
I would never dessert you.
A duck walks into a bar. The duck says to the bartender, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No." Then the duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "NO!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any bread?" The bartender says, "No, and if you say that one more time I will nail your bill to this bar!" The duck says, "Hey bartender, got any nails?" The bartender says, "No." The duck says, "Well then, bartender, got any bread?"
Happiness is like food, not everyone gets it.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.