Food jokes
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
My sister's boyfriend was coming around for Christmas Day. He had the option of two birds to tuck into: Turkey or Goose.
I said, "Are you not satisfied with my sister, who is literally handing herself on a plate to you?!"
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What does a waiter in a Chinese restaurant call a customer that won't leave a tip? A "plick."
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
Which nut has won the World Cup the most times? A Brazil nut.
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
"Pizza place, pizza place, are you there?"
"You're ass heck bye."
Jayden March, a name so bold, Never knew the joy of cookies untold. In a world of sugar and sweet delight, He stood apart, an unusual sight.
While others indulged in sugary bliss, Jayden abstained, dismissing the kiss Of chocolate chips and dough so divine, His willpower strong, his resolve intertwined.
No oatmeal raisin or double fudge, Could tempt his taste buds, not even a nudge. For Jayden March, a different path he took, In a world of cookies, he never partook.
His reasons unknown, a mystery untold, Perhaps he sought something purer than gold. Or maybe he craved a different kind of treat, One that couldn't be found in a cookie sheet.
But as the years passed by, curiosity grew, Whispers of wonder, questions anew. Why did Jayden March deny such delight? Was there a secret hidden in his resolute fight?
Some say he found solace in nature's embrace, In the rustle of leaves and the wind's gentle pace. Others believed his heart sought a different reward, In acts of kindness, love freely poured.
Jayden March, a man of mystery and grace, Marched to a beat only he could embrace. In a world of cookies, he found his own way, Leaving us wondering, pondering day by day.
For though he never tasted the sweetness of a treat, Jayden March's story remains incomplete. A reminder to us all, to explore and define, Our own desires, our own paths to find.
So let us celebrate Jayden's unique choice, And listen to the whisper of our own inner voice. For in a world of cookies, may we remember, That sometimes it's the journey, not the taste, we treasure.
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
Robyn Olive in 10.
What is a cheetah's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
Q: What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
A: Apples get picked.
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
What did the banana say to Ethan, Ryan, and Cooper?
"Hi!"