Food jokes
A man came up to me and threatened me with his milk, cheese, and butter... how dairy!
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
Personally, I think putting beans on toast is better than bullets in children.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
What do you call cheese that is not your cheese?
Not yo cheese!
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
How does a rapper make a burrito?
With WRAPPING paper, DUUUHHHHHH!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Orange." "Orange who?" "Orange you coming?"
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What does the egg do after the pan told him a joke?
He cracked up!