Food jokes
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."
"It's a strip steak, sir."
"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
Why do people in Alabama like eating sandwiches? They like things in bread.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
A panda walks into a bar. He asked the bartender for a sandwich and then proceeds to shoot him, then leaves the bar. Later on, after asking witnesses, the police track down the panda and take him to the station. They question him and ask, “Why’d you do it?” The panda replied, “It’s what pandas do, look it up.” So they did, they went on Wikipedia, and there it was: Pandas eat shoots and leaves.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
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