Food jokes
What's in a Michael Jackson hotdog?
A 50-year-old piece of meat.
A 12-year-old bun.
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Memes
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What kind of chocolate does a lesbian hate?
Ones that contain nuts.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Did you know cannibals ate KFC?
Kentucky Fried Children.
Men: "I like dogs."
Women: "I like cats."
Chinese: "Food is food."
Why do Black people dip their Oreos in water?
Because daddy never came back home with the milk.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
Tamalito.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"