Food jokes
What’s the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry peeling onions!
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog.
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat.
She said nothing, so I took her to Africa.
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
Curry.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Why couldn't Helen Keller eat her Big Mac?
She was too busy trying to read the sesame seeds.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
What's the difference between America and a bottle of milk?
In 200 years the milk will have developed a culture.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
Your mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
A programmer and his wife.
She says, "We're out of bread. Please go to the grocery store and buy one. And if they've got eggs, get six."
After a while, he's back with six loaves of bread.
The wife asks, "Why did you buy 6 loaves of bread?"
He replies, "They had eggs."