Food jokes

What do you call a retarded fruit?

Mentally in-pear-ed.

What is Trump's favorite snack?

Cheetos.

(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)

Why were the Twin Towers mad?

Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!

What's the difference between a little boy and a freezer?

The freezer doesn't scream when you put your meat in it.

Your mama so fat that when she went to McDonald's, they said, "Sorry, you've had enough, ma'am."

What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?

Vegans: Save the Earth.

Normal People: We're trying to, but you guys keep eating it!

One morning, Peppy and George came downstairs for breakfast, but they got a plate of juicy bacon. Their dad had recently gone missing, so they ate it quite sadly.

The next morning, they went to school and asked their teacher, "What is bacon made out of?" The teacher replied, "Pigs, why?" Peppa and George looked horrified.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.

Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.

*Takes huge bite of air.*

What do noodles and women have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? A Drive-Thru.

Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."

One day, I put a lady taffy on my ass.

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"

What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?

Survival Guilt.

What do you call a band made of cheese?

Grate That!

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?

There was nothing left but de-brie.