Food jokes
What happens to the crow in the earthquake?
It turned into a milkshake. 🤔😂
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
Yo mama so dumb when the weather said "it's chili outside," she went inside a goal, small and a bowl.
There was once a young sister who never got anything good for her birthday, and she was sick of it. So one day the girl asked for a puppy, and the parents said yes.
When she got the puppy, he was nice, but the puppy needed food every two minutes. The parents eventually got sick of it and came up with a plan. Two weeks passed and the younger and less fat sister asked where her other sister was as she wanted to play Barbies. “And also, why haven’t you been feeding the dog? He needs food, you know.” The parents only answered with “Oh! Yes, you can have a room all to yourself now. And about the puppy...he won’t need feeding for years.”
I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.
me when
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? Apes get picked.
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What is a pig’s 🐷 favorite pie 🥧?
Mississippi Mud.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
I’m going to open my own Mexican restaurant and call it boarder patrol.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
How much do 2000 pounds of Chinese noodles weigh? Won Ton.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
Why can't orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Because there is no family.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
I'm always willing to go down on a special needs girl.
Momma always told me to eat my vegetables.
Spinach
Where do you take your pig to karate?
The pork chop class!
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.