Food jokes
What's the difference between you and an egg?
An egg gets laid.
I asked my mom if I can help her out with the cooking, she answered yes.
A few hours later, dinner was ready and dad came to join. Mother said, "Honey, can you get the mashed potatoes?" Dad said, "Why, she’s right here."
Whenever I order coffee, I always get the depresso with extra depresso sauce.
What’s the hardest part about making vegetable soup?
To put the wheelchair in the pot.
Sex is like pizza.
When it’s hot, it’s great.
When it’s cold, it’s still pretty good.
Memes
NSFW Why can't women ever tell men where the clitoris is?
'Cause it's a place to eat.
Why'd Billy get fired from the banana factory?
He kept throwing with the bent one.
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."