What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A kinder surprise.
Food Jokes
People were deciding how to punish a terrible criminal, and one man came up with a great idea.
He sat him in a movie theater with no food at all and made him watch a 12 hour documentary about the country Hungary.
What's the quiet kid's favorite school lunch? Mac-10 and cheese.
I went to a disco at a seafood restaurant the other day...
... And pulled a mussel.
What is the difference between an apple spread and an orphan spread?
Apples get picked.
What is an orphan's least favorite snack?
"Dots HOMESTYLE Pretzels!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Artichokes. Artichokes who? Artichokes when he eats too fast.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
One gets picked, and the other doesn't.
Why do skeletons like having sex with short girls before eating?
They like to bone a petite.
If you feel sad, or you feel that you are not loved... You're with mushroom pizza.
What are cheetahs' favorite chips?
Cheetah Puffs!
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
They ordered pepperoni, but they only got plane.
What did the orphan say to his dad last?
Please get non-fat milk!
My cat's breath smells like cat food.
When I feel depressed, I like to cut myself another piece of cake.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
