Food jokes
How do you make an apple turnover?
You push it down a hill.
What did the egg say to the other egg?
Nothing, they can't talk.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.
What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.
What do you get if you eat sugar?
High.
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
How do you find out about the accomplishments of the former president of the United States James Earl Carter?
Read the label on the jar of Skippy peanut butter.
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
What is the cherry's favorite cartoon?
"Tom and Jerry!"
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What’s the difference between cereal and a baby?
I personally think cereal is not nutritious.
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
Potatoes
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Mustard