My wife said she wanted steamed vegetables with her steak, so I put her father in the hot tub.
Food Jokes
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
Q. What do Danielle Smith and a squirrel have in common?
A. They both always have a mouth full of nuts.
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.
People should've recognized that Jared Fogle was a sick offender by one coded Subway sandwich; he normally claimed to kids he ate the sweet onion chicken teriyaki when it was the tuna sub.
Tuna sub was the message of the target to the kid since "tuna sub" put together makes "tunasub" and the truth comes when you spell it in reverse ("busanut")!
What is a porn star's favourite potato crisp flavour...
Prawn cocktail.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
This is a 2 for 1 plane combo that will never exist.
But, it's like a plane pizza.
Nothing happens, but it terrorizes me.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What’s the worst part of a vegetable?
A wheelchair.
What did the hot dog say to the condom? "Hot dog condom style."
What’s the difference between orphans and apples?
Apples get picked.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
What is black and long?
A line at KFC.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because dad never came back with the milk.
What does a male Asian P*rnstar like to say?
"I love eating cat."
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza. Instead, they got a plane.
