Food jokes
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable?
AIDS.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
An apple gets picked.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Condensed.
Condensed who?
Condensed milk.
Le fishe
Why did the farmer eat a fork?
'Cause he's a dumbass.
I ordered my sandwich at a restaurant on 9/11 spicy, it came out plain.
If I look after chickens, does that make me a chicken tender?
Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be expect bagels.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite lunch? Eggs and shoulders.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Why is the orange 🍊 the fastest fruit?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Q: What do you call a baby in a vegetative state?
A: A tater tot.
My Butterfingers slipped.
Have you ever heard of emo pizza?
It cuts itself!
Chiefs is an egg-cellent cook!
For centuries, Japan’s feudal dictators, called Shoguns, enforced strict laws that kept people from leaving or entering the country. This practice isolated Japan from the rest of the world. By the middle of the 19th century, Japan’s isolationism was creating problems for the United States’ whaling industry whose ships needed coal, food, and water available in Japanese ports. And sailors who were shipwrecked on the coast of Japan needed protection from mistreatment.
In November 1852, President Millard Fillmore sent an expedition to Japan to solve these problems. Led by Commodore Matthew C. Perry, the expedition had both steam-powered and sail-powered warships and several hundred men. Perry’s task was to persuade the Japanese to sign a treaty with the United States that would open Japanese ports and protect shipwrecked sailors. On July 8, 1853, the Perry expedition sailed into Edo Bay about thirty miles from the city of Edo (modern Tokyo).
During talks with the Shogun’s representatives, the idea of a treaty was repeatedly rejected. But Perry didn’t give up. Finally, in February 1854, the Japanese agreed to negotiate a treaty. The Treaty of Kanagawa established peace between the two countries, opened two ports to U.S. shipping, and protected shipwrecked sailors. It was signed on March 31, 1854.
Perry’s expedition also opened Japan to the rest of the world. Within two years, Japan signed similar treaties with Russia, Holland, and Britain.
The Twin Towers ordered Domino's, what did they get instead?