Food jokes
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
Memes
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.