Food jokes
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
How do you fit a baby into a shoebox?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Tortilla chips.
Memes
What do you call a cow 🐮 in an earthquake?
A milkshake.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
What 3 words started Jeffery Dahmer's cannibalism?
This isn't ketchup.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
20 likes by just cheese.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Drop me in Afghanistan with a Dodge Challenger Super Stock, a Mexican named Jose, a 6 pack of Dr. Pepper, a golden SCAR, a pack of chimichangas, and an M4A1, and I'll have the Taliban saying the Pledge of Allegiance in 4 hours.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.