Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
What do you call a black person eating chicken, watermelon, and drinking Kool-Aid?
Reality.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
