What do a prostitute and peanut butter have in common?
They both spread for bread.
Food Jokes
I ate too many temmie flakes... I guess I got a TEMMIE ACHE!!!!
What do you call a pig that does karate?
PORK-CHOP
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
What do you call a down syndrome person that was hit by a car?
Mash potato.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
How does a cannibal start a wedding reception?
He toasts the groom.
Why are there no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Why do dwarfs hate fast food restaurants? Cause most of them have medium and large.
When Kenney goes down on his mom, does he taste vegetable or fish?
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome on the beach?
A baked potato.
What pizza did the Twin Towers order?
A plain one.
They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.
