You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
Why can't Asians play baseball? Because they will eat the bat.
If someone calls you, reply with this: “Hi, this is Dave’s orphanage and pizzeria, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I assist you today?”
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
