Food jokes
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What is a cannibal's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
Asked my dad what LGBT stands for.
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?" Obviously, I had to reply with "Garnish."
Why can't Asians play cricket? They'll eat the bat.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
People are like potatoes.
We may look different, but we all taste the same with a little ketchup.
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
Donald Trump wants to ban the sale of pre-shredded cheese.
He wants to make America grate again.
Hear about the restaurant called karma? There is no menu: You get what you deserve.
You're so flat, you make pancakes look thiccc.
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.
What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do cannibals call pregnant women? A kinder surprise.
I have no father or no milk. Like if you relate.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.