Food jokes
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
You're so fat, you only know the letters KFC.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
That was a really crappy bun!
If you are what you eat, then I’m black.
What does Stephen Hawking put his food in? A microwave.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."