What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.
I fucking love rhubarbs.
Yo mama so fat she ate Saturn and mistook it for bubble gum.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What's the difference between Donald Trump and an orange?
The orange tastes good.
Why do cannibals love sex? They can make their own food.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Why are fat people fat? Because they eat like Indians eating curry, except fat people eat many more portions.
What's long and black, the line to KFC.
What do you get when you cross a Jamaican with a ginger?
A gingerbread man.
What do you call a united cow?
United Steaks.
Why should you always knock on the fridge door before opening it? In case there’s a salad dressing.
A man assaulted me with milk, cheese, and butter.
How dairy!
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
What kind of food does a lesbian love? Anything they can eat out.
You also have to learn to say no. For example: "Would you like a piece of cake?" "No, I'd like two."
How does a train eat?
It goes, "chew chew."
