Food jokes
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.
Why do orphan kids never eat homemade food? Because they don’t even have one!
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
What cookies did the orphans never try?
Home made cookies!
What do you call an ex eating Taco Bell?
Explosion.
What do you call a dog in China?
E10
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple always gets picked.
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!
Why did the Twin Towers order from Just Eat?
They wanted some plane fries.
What’s cheese that’s not yours? Nacho cheese!
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.
I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.
Me: I wouldn’t want to be with a shitmate.
Shitmate: You’re so shitable.
Me: Bring banana ice cream.
Shitmate: Never happening.
I drip when you take me in the mouth, what am I? Ice cream.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."