Food jokes
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Would you like some wine with those French cries?
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!
What do you call a baby in a blender? A baby blender!
You're so ugly you make Happy Meals cry.
Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.
What is 6 inches and has nuts?
A Snickers bar.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
"Orphans get picked."
What’s the difference between Apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
Today, I saw my friend go crazy eating her ham sandwich. When she went to the bathroom, I checked inside her ham sandwich, and there were fresh drugs.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
Making a comforting breakfast.
But you have a knife.
For dinner, this girl had noodles. The next day, she could not find her skinny sister. The mom said, "Your sister is dead!" sadly. The girl asked, "She was skinny, right?" The mom said yes. The sister laughed, "I ate her! That’s why the noodles were very skinny!"