Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
What do you call a hamburger that can talk and walk?
Funny weird walkie hamburger and talkie cute hamburger. Lol.
What dessert do you get on September 11th?
An ice cream flight!
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
Yo momma so stupid, when someone got cardiac arrest, she tried to put the person to court, and when the judge said "ORDER AT THE COURT," she thought it's a food court and ordered 20 Big Macs and got a heart attack.
Yo mamma is so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?
Because the dad never came with the milk.
A woman was in the Twin Towers. She orders a pepperoni pizza but got a plane pizza.
I wasn't going to visit my family this December, but my mom promised to make me Eggs Benedict. So I'm going home for the hollandaise.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
A goose with no beak, and you eat?
Goose beak salad, file! :)
Q: What's the difference between an apple tree and an orphan?
A: Apples get picked! 😱
Why do orphans eat an ice cream cone?? They can't afford a family pack.
Yo mama's teeth so yellow, I can't believe it's not butter!
Yo mama's so poor, the ducks throw bread at her.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo momma's so fat, she doesn't know how to play bacon.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
