Food jokes
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
What do you call someone who’s afraid of breaststroke? Chicken breast.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
They ordered pepperoni, but they got plain.
Why do fat people like food?
The more the merrier.
I bet you eat your cereal with water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Why does an orphan use water for his cereal?
He is waiting for his dad with the milk.
How does an orange 🍊 go into a crowded restaurant?
By squeezing his way in.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
You're so skinny, starving Ethiopians offer you food!
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Why were the Twin Towers angry?
Because they ordered pepperoni, but they got plane.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
Would you like some wine with those French cries?
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
The apples get picked.
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why was the cookie angry? Because someone ate the chips!