Food jokes
Why did George Clooney like egg jokes?
Because he had good taste.
What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?
WiFi chips or his shoulder?
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
A man goes to a restaurant and asks for some chili.
The waiter said, "Sorry sir, this is an Asian restaurant."
So he stretches his eyes and says, "Oh herro, can I get some chiri?"
What do they call me when I jack off?
Pulled pork.
What do you call a pig that pulled a leg? Pulled pork.
What's the fastest cake? Scone!
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.