Food jokes
What's the fastest cake? Scone!
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
What does a clock do when he's still hungry?
He goes back "four" seconds!
I forgot my lucky egg! It always gives me an eggcellent amount of luck!
Stephen Hawking + Computer = SMART!
Stephen Hawking + Shoulder = HUNGRY!
What's the difference between broccoli & boogers?
People don't eat their broccoli.
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?