Food jokes
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
Pizzaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Microchips.
I don’t have enough money to buy cheese, could you provolone me some money?
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One of them turned to the other and said, "Does this taste funny to you?"
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!