Food jokes
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.
Why was the chef embarrassed?
He saw the salad dressing.
The reason why I stopped eating salads was not to be unhealthy; it was so I don't need to eat the wheelchairs along with all those fucking vegetables.
A new burger has been invented in memory of Stephen Hawking.
I doubt it will sell though, as it's 95% cabbage.
What's an edible part of a wheelchair?
A vegetable!
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
What do you call Stephen Hawking when he eats too much?
As fat as Ben Dingley.
What's red and bubbly and scratches at the microwave glass?
A baby in the microwave!
How do you get a baby out of a blender?
With Doritos!
Wanna hear a joke about corn?
Never mind, it's too corny.
Want to hear a joke about pizza?
Never mind, it's too cheesy.
They struggled to lift the weights, but I got watermelon to keep me in shape.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What do you get when you mix an apple with water... applesauce. Wait, do not leave yet. If you are still reading this, you have been rekt, ha ha. At least I am still laughing.
fff.
What do you call a sociopath who damages a box of Wheaties? A cereal criminal!
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
What do you call a couple Mexicans getting stoned in a bush? Buches baked breans.
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.