Food jokes
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
The lettuce and tomato were in a race. The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
A dung beetle walks into a bar and says to another beetle, "Is this stool taken?"
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
What is Beyonce's favorite fast food chain?
dairy QUEEEEEEENNNN!
What do you call an appetite including apples? Appletite.
What do you call a pie made by an octopus? Octopie.
Mayonnaise marry me?
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.