Food jokes
What's the difference between a baby and putty?
You can only eat one.
"Are you taco to me? I nacho friend."
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
How do you know if a comedian is high?
Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
What type of bee makes milk?
A boobee.
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
What do you call milk that gets everything she wants?
Spoiled milk.
SOMEBODY TOUCHA MY SPAGHET!
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.
What is Trump's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
(Get it? He looks like a Cheeto!)
Where do you go when food dies?
A fooderal.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
"Don't forget you are what you eat," said one person. "Then I should eat a skinny person!" said the other.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.