Food jokes
What is the one thing wrong with Asian pet stores?...
There is always a kitchen in the back.
Why did Brandon harass Sydney because she didn't want to eat his foreskin?
Jared from Subway. Remember kids, "tuna sub" backwards is what I'm going to do on your face.
What do most disabled people eat?
Their arm.
Q: What's the best way to eat a squirrel?
A: Open up its little legs.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
You want a pizza from me!!!!
Pizzaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!
Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy? He died of a yeast infection.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
A mushroom walked into a pub.
He asked the bartender to give him a beer.
The bartender said, "I can't, you'll get too rowdy."
The mushroom then said, "Oh come on! When I drink, I'm a fun guy!"
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
What did the chocolate dentist say to the other chocolate dentist? Did you "chip" a tooth?
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
What can you tell [is] the difference between Stephen Hawking and a carrot?
Nothing.
Why do basketball players like cookies? Because they can dunk them!