Food jokes
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
Ur mom.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
All these oranges, but you're still the one for me.
How did the flight attendant want their burger?
Just plane!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
They toss and turn to the sound of thunder, but I got watermelon to soothe my slumber!
What do you say when you see an apple dancing in a talent show?
He's got some "sweet" moves!