Food jokes
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!
What’s the hardest part of the vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Q: What's the difference between a folk singer and a 14" pizza?
A: The pizza can support a family of four.
Even though you are a meateater, you can still totally be a vegetarian.
Why will we never get hungry in the desert?
We have lots of sand-which's.
What makes a bird fly?
Bird food!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
Answer: The table part.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Robyn Olive in 10.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What do you call a pool full of retards?
Vegetable soup.