Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
Fruit is like ex-wives.
They both look really good hanging from a tree.
When we were visiting the Hoover Dam, I started to get a bit hungry. I asked my parents, "Where's the dam snack bar?"
What do Chinese people order: noodles in bed with some fried cat?
Why do cows die?
'Cuz they are to beef.
[God creating Asians] “Alright, and the design is finished, see our new model, the Asian. It has no hair at all.”
Angel asks, “Does it eat normal food?”
God replies, “(chuckling) Oh no, not at all.”
Dracula was invited to a BBQ. He got stake.
What does Jonathan Davis eat for breakfast?
Korn Flakes.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
How do you cook macaroni? With a shark-spoon-a-rooni!
I would have told you a cheesy pun, but it was too cheesy. *picks up cheeses*
Hey Jonny, you can buy a...
Pun o' chips at the store!
What was Osama's favourite food... yer nan?
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
Applesauce.
Why did Shawn suddenly fly to Mount Everest, leaving behind friends, family, and food?
Someone told him that "Shelby"'s coming 'round the mountain.
