Food jokes
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."
What's a lesbian's favorite type of food?
Finger-food.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by an ice cream truck.
Pineapple goes on pizza.
Went to my local Indian restaurant and asked the waiter for a chicken tarka Masala.
The waiter said, "What's that?"
I said, "It's the same as a tikka, just a little otter."
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
A man and a cow walk into a McDonalds, and the man walks up to the front counter and says, “I’d like one beef burger.” The employee of McDonalds said, “Sure thing sir, also I really like to see your cow, may I bring him into the back room really quick to show my co-workers?” The man says, “Sure.” The employee takes the cow into the back room. A couple minutes later, the employee came back with his burger. The man took a bite of it, and realized his cow was gone.