Food jokes
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!
Ur mom.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
What is a lesbian's favorite potato chip flavor?
Porn Cocktail.
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
There was a dog in the middle of the room, so I called it and started to play fetch. Then my mother shouted at me for playing with my food. I missed it, but it was tasty.
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.
If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
I didn’t know if she was anorexic or not, so I tossed her an onion ring to see if she would eat it or use it as a hula hoop.
Man: "Is your body from McDonald's?"
Woman: "Why, because you're loving it?"
Man: "No, because it's fat and greasy."
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.