Food jokes
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
Is it okay to say "nice to meat you" to a vegan?
What did the mommy tomato tell the little tomato?
You better ketchup!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
Answer: The table part.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Robyn Olive in 10.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
What do you call a pool full of retards?
Vegetable soup.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
I dreamed I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow, but when I woke up, my pillow was gone!