What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
Food Jokes
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
Why doesn't bread like warm weather?
It gets toasty!
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
What did the grape say to the banana? "Stop graping me!"
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
So a guy named Nathaniel just came home, and when he enters his sister’s room, he sees her f***ing a piece of broccoli. And Nathaniel says, “Abbie, what’s wrong with you? I was going to eat that later, and now it smells like broccoli!”
What kind of vegetable makes the best receptionist?
Cauliflower.
What was Beethoven called when he only ate beef?
Beefthoven!
What did the shark say after he ate the clownfish?
"This taste a little funny."
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
A man and a woman get married. The woman was a retired hooker. The man was a poet.
The man said as they did 69, "You taste better than my most delicious gourmet meal." The woman said, "Well, you aren’t too bad either, but the best 69 I’ve gotten and given was Harry. He did it for 24 hours nonstop." They got divorced that night.
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
Q: What do you call a cow with only two legs?
A: Lean meat.
