Food jokes
Q: What happens when a pig plays tug-of-war?
A: Pulled pork.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
The most unrealistic part of Chotta Bheem is not him eating a laddu and getting power. It's him eating a whole laddu in one shot.
What does iCloud eat for lunch?
Your documents.
You couldn't spit out a good sentence, even if you ate a bowl of alphabet soup.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What do you call butter without an expiration date?
A miracle butter, because wow!
What did the expired butter do once it had expired?
It did an expire.
What's great about an emo pizza?
It cuts itself. Yay!
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
Orphans would be upset if they went to FamilyMart.
'Cause they sell oden, not a family.
Christopher and Tony were tempted for a beer, but they only had 2 dollars each.
Christopher got an idea and ran away to the butcher to see if he could get something good. He came back with a sausage. So they went to a pub and ordered 2 beers and 2 whiskeys.
"Are you crazy?!" said Tony to Christopher. "We don't have any money!"
"Take it easy now," said Christopher. "I have a plan."
When they finished drinking everything up, Christopher put the sausage through his own zipper and begged Tony to bend on his knees and take the sausage with his mouth.
The bartender saw what they did and threw them out without even paying. So Christopher and Tony kept doing the same thing pub after pub after pub.
After the 10th pub, Tony said: "I can't do this anymore. I am drunk, and my knees are in too much pain to even handle the walk."
"How do you think I feel?" said Christopher, exhausted. "I dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub!"
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
What is an orphan's favorite flower? Self-raising. 😂
My friend asked for something dark and creamy. I said..... "GU KHA".