Food jokes
What did the fork say to the cake?
A: "I want a piece of you!"
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What did Batman do when he went shopping?
Got ham!
Jay and Andrew are best friends who are almost alike. The difference between them both is Jay is poor and well... Andrew, on the other hand, is suck-a-dick poor. Let me explain, Jay wakes up in his room, walks to the kitchen, and asks his mom, Lisa (I call her Lisa now, btw), if there is anything to eat. "No, bitch!" she replies, so Jay drinks a glass of milk and goes back to bed.
Now Andrew... wakes up, jumps out of bed, and he's in the kitchen. He sees his mom fixing some food for work after a long hard night of giving her husband blue balls. "Anything left for me, Mother?" Andrew asks. "Sorry, Honey, I have to eat to put food on the table and to get the running again." *so she goes to work, taking her time* Andrew sits by his bedside and says to himself, "Man... I'd suck a dick for some water right now." *his mom storms back after hearing what he had said* "I'll buy you a soda if you do my first customer for me!"
KFC doesn’t use toilet paper because it is finger lickin' good!
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Why was the asian late to class?
His 1 minute rice took 2 minutes to cook.
Which restaurants can an orphan not go to?
A family restaurant.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
A: This rice is very delicious!
B: Ya! It is more delicious if it is cooked.
A: It’s very delicious! Great! Fantastic!
B: Thank you.
A: People don’t speak when they eat delicious foods!
What do you call a nut in jail?
A busted nut.
What is shark's favorite day?
Chewsday.
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!