Food

Food jokes

There are days I feel really bad for my Wife. She has to feed me in the same place I take a dump.

She really hates it when I spit my food back out.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Yull.

Yull who?

You'll be sorry if you eat all the fruitcake!

A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"

The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"

Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?

Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?

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  • Your mom: Your plate is full, that's enough food on your plate.

    Me: My plate is not full, I still see the white of the plate.

    Why did the octopus cross the road?

    'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.