Food jokes
Why can't a blind person eat fish?
They can't see food.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
How are orphans and apples different?
One gets picked.
What's the difference between a piano, a pot of glue, and a tuna fish?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
What about the glue?
I knew you'd get stuck there.
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
I fed a vegan cock. No, not chicken, no, not my cock, my dead dad's.
Banana bread is cute.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What's the difference between orphans and apples? Apples get picked.
How do you kill a sheep?
You lamb shank it!
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
What is the best part of being an orphan?
Every bag of chips is family sized.
Why are butts salty?
Because there buttered!
Why didn't the Twin Towers order cheese pizza?
They like pepperoni, not plane!