Food jokes

Your mom is so skinny, she eats Skinny Pop!

Little boy: Momma?

Mom: Yes, my dear.

Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.

Mom: Why!?

Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

Juice WRLD farts smell like McDonalds.

How does a cannibal like his meat?

Human.

Why shouldn't you let a Chinese person play baseball?

'Cause they'll eat the bat!

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

A pecan is motivated because pe-can do anything.

Pistachio can’t, but pe-can.

You pecan do it!

You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.

Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!

I want an almond-flavored biscuit.

The peanut gained confidence and finally came out of its shell.

Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.

If you put ice cream on the nutty brownie, you’re serving it a la mode.