Food jokes
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.
Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?
'Cause they're dark.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Finding half a worm in your apple!
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
I ate my mom.
Why are orphans so lucky?
Every crisp packet is family sized.
How was the slice of cheese 🧀 doing in the kitchen?
Cheddar!
What did the dad say when he left the lollipop store?
"Cya suckers!🍭"