Food jokes
What are the similarities between orphans and unripe strawberries?
None of them get picked.
Fred says, "Have you heard the rumor about butter?"
Bob says, "Umm no."
Fred then says, "Ah, okay then I won't spread it."
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
What do you call Kevin with no beef?
Chicky.
Little Johnny got detention because when he was walking to lunch, he saw a bowl of apples and there was a note on it that said, "Take 1, God is watching." He continued walking and saw a bowl of cookies that said, "Take 1, please." So little Johnny made his own note and he wrote, "Take as many cookies as you want, God is watching the apples."
Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?
A: Jalapeño business!
What did the cupcake tell its frosting?
I’d be muffin without you.
Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big dill!
What do you call a fake noodle?
An im-pasta.
What do you call a flat cabbage?
A leaf pile.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
I like...
Wendy's.
"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.