Food jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do emo kids and apples have in common?
They both hang off trees.
What do emo kids and bananas have in common?
They both hang on trees.
A man ate a bee to mechanical sexting, but he was to be, uh, sex. Bee vagina penis, he want sex but [is] dumb.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
I like...
Wendy's.
"Wendeez nuts in your mouth."
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
Glizzy?
What do eggs like doing on stage?
Cracking jokes!
Yo mama so stupid, she used a fork to save the milk from the cereal.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
Where do cows eat lunch?
In the calfeteria, dumb butt!
How to make emo cakes:
Milk Butter Eggs Sugar We're Going Down Swinging!
I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.
The secrets of life.
Mac & Cheese.
Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.