Food jokes
If you feel a lump in your rice, you fucked up.
If you feel a lump in your skin, you have cancer.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
What is the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples actually get picked.
An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.
Omnom.
What’s the difference between an onion and a viola?
No one cries when they cut up the viola.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Did you eat Chef Boyardee's food?
No, why?
Boy are deez nuts so big.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
What did Stephen Hawking have for breakfast? His left shoulder.
If you think the guy calling you fat is offensive,
Try salad 🥗.
What does a cannibal call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Joy.
"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it is too cheesy."
"YOU MORON ITS *TOO* not TO, IM GOING TO EAT YOU ALIVE AND RIP OUT YOUR PROSTATE"
What do you call a pickle sandwich?
A Big Mac!
How much curry can an Indian eat? Until his red dot explodes.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
What do gay people call fighting? It can't be beef, so...
Carrots?
Did you know that chips taste like the baked potato in things called bags of chips?
What do you call a black person in a swimming pool?
Coco Pops.
What type of cake can orphans not eat? Homemade.