Food jokes
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
Stephen Hawking is to wheelchairs like Uncle Ben is to rice.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Grounded beef.
Q: What does a slice of pizza and an F grade have in common?
A: They're both cheesy.
Boys eat Frito Bandito, but men eat Guido Bandito.
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
How do u make a sausage roll?
Push it down the hill.🍆
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray!”
In memory of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as various places, is introducing the Jackson Dog. A 50 year old sausage between a 9 year old bun.
What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
What does a noisy chilli do?
It gets jalapeno business.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?
"Get to the ground, beef!"
What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?
Grounded beef.