Fitness jokes

Why did the gym close?

It's because it just never worked out.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.

Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?

Because it was a good source of mussel mass!

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Why did the rapper go to the gym?

To work on his flex rhymes!

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!

How do you fit a baby in a glass?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Explosives!

I’m sorry deez nuts can’t fit in your mouth.

In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.

With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.

Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.

Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.

A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.

With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.

Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.

But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.

And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!

So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

Why did the pirate go to the gym?

To improve his booty strength!

How does a booty stay in shape?

It works its glutes off!

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Yo mama so fat,

She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.

(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)