Fitness

Fitness Jokes

Mom

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Church

Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?

Because it was a good source of mussel mass!

Site

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Aish office

I started working at the AISH office a few months ago.

I felt like I wasn't fitting in. Then my coworker showed me where the pepper spray and emergency contraception pills were.

Now I feel like I belong.

Rapper

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!

Rapper

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!

Baby

How do you fit a baby in a glass?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Explosives!

Dick

What do you call a dick that doesn't fit in an asshole?

A misfit.

Grip

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!

So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.

Mom

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

Dad

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?

La

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Mama

Yo mama so fat,

She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.

(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)