Fitness jokes

Why did the rapper go to the gym?

To work on his flex rhymes!

If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ahoy Mateys.

Ahoy Mateys who?

Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Why did the gym close?

It's because it just never worked out.

Your hairline can fit a truck without touching either side.

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

A guy went back to his apartment. Five minutes later, he said to the receptionist, "It doesn't fit!" So she gave him a new key.

What did the substrate say to the active site?

"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."

Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?

Because it was a good source of mussel mass!

How do you fit a baby in a glass?

A blender.

How do you get it out?

Explosives!

I’m sorry deez nuts can’t fit in your mouth.

In a world of feline folly, There lived a cat with a secret, A taste for adventure and mischief, And a love for KFC's golden treat.

With eyes like emerald jewels, And fur as black as night, This feline prowled the streets, In search of a savory delight.

Oh, how it yearned for chicken, Crispy and finger-lickin' good, But the cat knew it had to be sly, To satisfy its craving like it should.

Through alleyways it stealthily tiptoed, With nimble paws and a stealthy glide, Until it stumbled upon a secret, That made its hunger amplified.

A stash of KFC's golden eggs, Hidden away from prying eyes, An accidental treasure trove, A feast fit for a feline paradise.

With each stolen egg devoured, The cat's satisfaction grew, The taste of crispy breading, And juicy chicken, it knew.

Word soon spread of this food bandit, A legend of a cat so bold, Whispers echoed through the town, Of the one who stole the KFC gold.

But the cat with the KFC get eggs, Remained a mystery to all, A phantom of the night it became, Leaving no trace, no trail to recall.

And so, it continues its nightly quest, For chicken that satisfies its soul, The cat with the KFC get eggs, Forever on the prowl, never to be controlled.

Hi guys, so today I am going to do another blog. It's just for fun, and yeah. Enjoy!

So, this morning, when I woke up, I heard that I was getting new grips. I was so excited. (In case you guys don't know what grips are, they are sort of like gloves that go on your hands and they are for gymnastics bars.) I was excited because my old grips don't fit me anymore and my coach was like, "Oh I can get you some new ones since we have a meet in a week." And so I was like, "Oh, that's fine. My parents ordered me some. Thank you though." And she was like, "Okay, that's fine. Just make sure you have them by next week." So long story short, I have new grips now.

Your mom is so fat she won't be in a coffin when she dies. She won't fit in it.

What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"

Why did the pirate go to the gym?

To improve his booty strength!

How does a booty stay in shape?

It works its glutes off!

Why did my dad bring a bomb vest to fit in with his Taliban brothers?