Fitness jokes
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Roast
You have such a big forehead it has a 6 pack on it!
Q: How do you fit 4 gay men on a bar stool?
A: Flip the chair upside down.
Want to know how to fit 71 people in a car? Two in the front while we handle 69 in the back.
How did Santa fit down the chimney?
He buttered it.
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Yo forehead is so big it couldn't even fit in the United States.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
How many dicks can fit inside of a hooker? I don't know, ask your wife.
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
Why is vegetable soup hard to cook? Because you can't fit the wheelchair in!
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
How many people can you fit in a car?
6 - 3 in the back, 2 in the front, and my nan in the ashtray.
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
Total gym.
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
You're so damn fat that the only belt that fits you is an asteroid belt.