Fitness jokes
Yo mama was so fat, Huggy Wuggy couldn't fit his arms around her!
Have you heard of dideys?
Dideys balls fit in your mouth.
What do squats eat? Numbers.
Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?
Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
If 6 guys are in a room with each other, is it technically a 6-pack?
How do you fit a whale inside a car? A blender.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Yo mama so fat, she needed cheat codes for Wii Fit!
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
A little boy and a little girl were taking a bath.
The little girl looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car," said the little boy.
The little boy looked down and said, "What's that?"
"That's my little red sports car garage," said the little girl.
A few seconds later, the little girl said, "How about you put your little red sports car in my little red sports car garage?"
"Sure," said the little boy.
The little boy's mother was downstairs and heard this blood curdling scream. She ran upstairs. Once she got there, she saw blood all over the bathtub. "What happened?!" she said.
"Well, Johnny tried to put his little red sports car in my little red sports car garage...but it didn't fit...so I cut the back wheels off..."
Teacher: What's your favorite animal?
Me: Desert Eagle.
Teacher: Why?
Me: 'Cause it fits in my backpack.
Why don’t some couples go to the gym?
Because some relationships don’t work out.
Q: How do you get a squirrel to like you? A: Act like a nut! 😂
Q: Why don't eggs tell jokes? A: Because they'd crack each other up.
Son: Dad, can you put my shoes on? Dad: No, son, I don't think they would fit me.
I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it.
I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
What kind of exercise do lazy people do?
Diddly-squats.
I tried my best using phone sex online, but the thing about it is the holes cannot fit through.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
What gets hard when tugged and fits perfectly in between boobs... A seatbelt.
Not a joke but there's nowhere else to post this, (mainly this post is for the broke people without a gym). Did you know that the body can't tell if you're using weights? So lifting weights are optional.
Some beginner workouts without weights for like really weak people:
1. Sit-ups 10 reps 2. Push-ups 20 per reps 3. Squats 10 per reps 4. Crunches 10 per reps