Fitness jokes
My fitness guru said that if I got raped, it would help me in future marathons.
Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?
Teacher: 502.
Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Teacher: No, you can't fit an elephant in a fridge!!
Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.
Student: How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: open door, put giraffe in, close door
Student: No! Open door, take elephant out, put giraffe in, close door.
Student: The Lion King is having a B-day party. All the animals are there, except one. Which one?
Teacher: let me guess the lion?
Student: No! The giraffe because He's in a fridge.
Teacher: WOW!
Student: Sally has to get across a large river home to many alligators. They are very dangerous, but Sally swims across safely. How?
Teacher: Sally stepped on the alligators mouth?
Student: The gators are at the party.
Student: But Sally dies anyway. Why?
Teacher: She drowned?!
Student: No! She got hit in the head by a flying brick.
Yo, barber fucked up so bad he pulled out a "Plants vs. Zombies" map and that shii fit perfectly.
Never eat more than you can lift.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
this is especially fun with human body's
When should you discourage your husband from exercising and dieting? When he wants to fit in your clothes!
Why was the rapper always in shape?
Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
Guess Stephen Hawking never had use for sweatcoin😂
Do you know Wildee?
What's that?
Will deez nuts fit into your mouth?
How do you get to the Hogwarts gym?
Go through the dumbbell door.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
What song genre do the national anthems fit into?
Country.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.
Why do rappers love the gym?
'Cause they're all about them heavy bars.
Jesse: Do you like my ball?
Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?
Jesse: No, they do not leave me.
When my grandpa was 65, he decided to run a mile a day to keep fit.
He's 70 now, and we have no idea where he is.
What do you call a Fuhrer who's also a fitness coach?
Adolf Fit-ler.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!