Fitness jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.

Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?

Because he didn't want to get ripped.

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?

A: They exorcise.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"

Why was the rapper always in good shape?

Because he never skipped a beat!

Why was the rapper always in shape?

Because he dropped so many BARS, he had to stay fit to pick them up!

Daveon can barely fit on 5 pages.