Fitness jokes
POV: Wine Taster in hell.
I was sitting with the best wine ever made on the table in front of me. This silhouette begins to speak, "You have risen to be the most superb Wine Taster on Earth. Then you got run over by a truck hauling freshly made wine to a warehouse. Your crimes are as follows: you left your high school prom date with another man after you got her pregnant, you let your mother believe that the cat ran away after you drowned it in the pool, and you never got married. How do you plead?"
The man looked at the silhouette like it was a purple rabbit.
"Guilty," said the man, "but if you would be so kind would you at least tell me what the wine in front of me tastes and smells like? I will take any punishment you deem fit."
"Very well," said the silhouette, "but you will regret that request."
Out of the shadows comes a boy only looking 19 years old. The boy says, "I will you taster today. I am confident about my sense of taste." The boy takes the first bottle and opens it, pours it into a wine glass, and swirls it around. He then takes a sniff and begins to drink, to the Wine Taster he says, "Mmmm, taste like chicken."
I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.
Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:
Sit-ups: 50
Push-ups: 40
Squats: 30
Do 5 sets.
What’s a rapper’s favorite exercise?
Heavy bars.
What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?
What do you call a black person having a fit?
A chocolate milkshake.
Your mom is so small that she can fit in the luggage.
My girlfriend's name is Candice.
Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D
Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I see you, I see you; you would have to work out.
Touch your toes and hold them. Then spell "run." It will say, "r.u.n."
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?
Do you play Sea of Thieves? See if these balls fit in your mouth, gotteeeem!
Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
See if these nuts fit in your mouth.
Why didn't the teddy bear go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Q: What do priests do to stay in shape?
A: They exorcise.
This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?
Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.
Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.
Teacher: He did not.
Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.
Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.
Suzy: Then you can ask him.