Fitness

Fitness jokes

Knock

Knock Knock! Who's there? Candace Candace who? Can deez nuts fit in your mouth?

Nut

Me: How do you say yes in Spanish? You: Si. Me: Si if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Hooker

How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?

About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.

Name

My girlfriend's name is Candice.

Can these nuts fit in your mouth? :D

Memes

Nut

Have you heard of the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?

See if these nuts fit in your mouth.

Workout

Not a joke, but here's a good workout, I guess:

Sit-ups: 50

Push-ups: 40

Squats: 30

Do 5 sets.

Time

What time is it when you get home and you can walk walk home and walk walk?

Ego

I'm surprised BLESSEDBRIAN can fit through the door, considering how INFLATED his ego is.

Fat

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

Stool

How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?

Flip it upside down.

Whale

Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

Teacher: He did not.

Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

Suzy: Then you can ask him.

Knock knock

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Ahoy Mateys.

Ahoy Mateys who?

Ahoy mateys, balls fit in your mouth? LOLOLOLOLOLOL

Mum

Your mum is so fat, when she was sitting on a scale, the number couldn't even fit on the scale and came shooting out!

Squat

A girl did squats everyday with a 20 pound weight in her hand to finally text her boyfriend, "Show me your dick now!"

Sex

Most people my age have had sex. Not my fault I'm not able to fit in.

Gym

Why did the gym close?

It's because it just never worked out.