First jokes

Hillary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected into office.

Sorry, it was supposed to say "Female," but the "emale" got deleted.

What is the first thing you would do if you woke up as a woman?

"Probably the dishes."

So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?

Let's tell a secret about each other... I'll go first.

I

hate

you!

My cousin’s friend spelled “racist” wrong and when my cousin showed me, the first thing I said to my cousin’s friend is “Go to Grammarly. They REALLY teach you spelling.”

Me: I am the second worst thing that happened to these orphans.

Friend: What was the first?

Me: They- they weren't always orphans.

Friend: O-O

You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?

The second one never lands as good as the first one.

Imagine if Joe Biden was elected for a second term.

He would be the first president to be assassinated by a slick bathtub.

That autistic kid having sex for the first time:

"U The Hips, U The Hips!"

How is toilet paper recycled?

Easier than you would think, but first they have to process the crap out of it.

Two magicians were in a competition. The first one did magic, and the second started counting down, "3, 2," but before he said the last number, he 1.

Love is the best picture you can use to be able for her and I was able for her in the best place for her and I have to be honest and a great team of the team and the way it goes is the first 4th year of my life in my life as a new 💕.

What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!

What was the first man made out of? Adams! (Atoms)

The bakery I worked at got robbed. They demanded the dough; apparently, it couldn't be baked first.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Some moving men had just begun their day's work.

The first thing they brought into the house was a huge couch.

The owner came in and asked how everything was going. They replied, "Sofa so good."

Who was the first carpenter?

Eve, she made Adam's banana stand...

I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.

Interfischl

Happy

Apple

Tea

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I dropped my phone the other day when a guy picked up my phone and started to put it in his pocket.

I said, "Hey, that's my phone," and he said, "First of all, my name isn't 'Hey', it's Jay. Second of all, it's an iPhone, not a 'myPhone'. Get it right."