I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire
Hot weels
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣
My disabled friend rolled into a burning orphanage and saved lots of kids. When he came out, the kids tried to play with him because his wheels were on fire. They called him Hot Wheels.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
