Fire jokes
Damn, this new Angry Birds is fire!
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
ENTER PASSWORD.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
RESET PASSWORD.
NEW PASSWORD CAN'T BE OLD PASSWORD.
Sets fire to computer.
I got fired from the library. What did I do? I only put a book on women's rights in the fiction section.
What gets bigger when it eats but dies when it drinks?
Answer: fire.
Why did the man get fired from the calendar factory?
He only took a day off.
I got fired from the bowling ball factory for throwing out the ones that had holes in them.
Just burned 2,000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
You're so much like a marshmallow, you're so squishy and sticky, and everyone puts their sticks inside of you.
The only thing brighter than my cuteness is the fire on the Twin Towers.
There was a kid in a wheelchair. I put him on fire and called him Hot Wheels.
Why did the orphan not call 911 when he saw a tower catch fire?
'Cause he did not want any kids to go through the same pain.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
What do you get when you mix a white guy and a fire?
A firecracker.
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones, so I threw away the bent ones.
God: I feel like I'm forgetting something... oh no, Earth! *sees it on fire* Oh, it's fine.
People of Earth: *running and screaming*
Santen: *to God* Really?