Finance jokes
What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?
They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!
Why did the orphan rob the bank?
To buy a house.
Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?
I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Mom: Hey hun, need some money for lunch at school?
Son: No, I got 1k already.
Mom: Wait, what, how?
Son: Mom's wallet is magic.
Who made the most money from 9/11? The US government.
I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.
I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
What has a head and tail but no legs?
A penny.
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
If two stoners get married, do they have joint assets?
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.