Finance jokes

My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.

What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?

If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!

If the government can print money,

Then why are we paying taxes?

Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.

What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!

Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.

Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”

Wife: “ok... what is it?”

Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”

Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?

A: Cha-Ching!

My husband told me he just came into a lot of money.

Weird, he usually uses a sock.

It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.

And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.

Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.

When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.

But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!

Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.

According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:

1. What was your income for the year?

2. What were your expenses?

3. How much have you left?

4. Send it in.

Most people call it grave robbing...

I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"