Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
Did you know that a majority of the U.S. is afraid of the dark?
Especially if they are right behind you at the ATM.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
According to unofficial sources, a new simplified income-tax form consists of only four lines:
1. What was your income for the year?
2. What were your expenses?
3. How much have you left?
4. Send it in.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
You're so bald that your hairline is receding faster than my bank account after a trip to Las Vegas.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Yo mama's so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.
