Finance jokes
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Cha-ching!
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?
If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
Most people call it grave robbing...
I prefer to call it cryptocurrency.
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
Where does a snowman keep his money?
In a snowbank.
Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.
Why did the chicken crack the safe?
To get to her nest egg.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”