Finance jokes
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
What do you call a rich Chinese man?
Cha-ching!
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?
If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Call me a bad economy with high interest rates and low spending, 'cause I'm in a great depression.
Would love to pound Sterling with a 14 lb hammer.
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
When we were kids, we used to be afraid of the dark.
But when we grew up, the electricity bill made us afraid of the light!
It only takes 4 inches to please a woman.
And it doesn’t matter if it’s credit or debit.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
A father bought his depressed son a new house, and then pointing at it, he said, "Hang in there, son!"
Yo, Bloon... what bitch where the fuck my child support camo Bloon? 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.