What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Finance Jokes
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
I got fired my first day at the bank. This old lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Why can the orphan only buy 1 ice cream cone?
He can't afford a family pack.
Why did the chiropractor go to jail? For not paying $75 in back taxes.
A Mario & Luigi joke.
What are the Mario bros' view on child support?
Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.
Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What do you call a parent that is pregnant?
Buy one, get one free.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
