My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.
What does ATM stand for?
Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.
😂🤣
Bro, living is so expensive, and I'm not even having fun doing it or getting my money's worth.
Where do you buy cows in bulk?
At the stock market.
Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
A suicidal customer walks into a gun store.
Cashier: Is this your final purchase?
Customer: Actually, yes it is!
Where did the pirate pay his taxes?
Aye, Argh, Sea.
Hey girl, are you my boss? 'Cause you just gave me a raise.
Why do laws forbid hoes from owning stocks in condom makers?
Answer: Insider trading.
I'm so poor I have to put my Big Mac burger on layaway.
What do you call the American healthcare plan for poor people?
Death.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
Bubba couldn't make rent, so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead.
I think he forgot he lived in his mom's basement.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
How did the guys with Down syndrome split the dinner bill? They all made a down payment.
People dream about having a lot of money, but the only thing you should be dreaming about is a hairline.
