Finance jokes
My wife Jean is happy, ๐ pretty, ๐ and pregnant,๐คฐ boy, ๐ฆ am I glad ๐ I bought her ๐ฉ a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
I got fired from my job at the bank today.
An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!
What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.
What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?
Nothing, they both crashed.
When you get injured ๐ข
When you get injured in America ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ต๐ต๐ต๐ต๐ต๐ฉ๐ฉ๐ฉ
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"
"Give away my Money, No Papa,"
"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.
They were both druids.
Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!