Finance jokes

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some cash withdrawals.

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?

A: Cha-ching!

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?

Only when they file jointly.

Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)

Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.

My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.