Finance jokes

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

When you get injured 😢

When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩

"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"

"Give away my Money, No Papa,"

"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."

What do you call a whale on a beach?

Banked.

Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?

Only when they file jointly.

What do you call super expensive shoes?

Cashews.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!

What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.

What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?

Nothing, they both crashed.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Does money grow on trees? No.

What is money made of? Paper.

What is paper made out of? Trees!