Finance jokes

"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"

"Give away my Money, No Papa,"

"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."

What do you call a whale on a beach?

Banked.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.

They always make me cry.

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.

I have so many cash machine jokes.

But none of them seem to work ATM.

Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?

Only when they file jointly.

How are women like swimming pools?

They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.

I saw a homeless dude and gave him $1.

I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77.

A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.

First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.

Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"

Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."

How is a marriage like a hurricane?

In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.

Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.

Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?

A: Cha-ching!

Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)

Yo mama is so poor, she asked a homeless guy for money.

My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.