What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
One dollar bill is with a five dollar bill. The five says, "I make more cents than you."
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
What's the difference between me and my best friends?
At least one of us has a house.
Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”
Johnny: “A new bike!”
Your hairline is what caused the Great Depression.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback!
"Give me 5 cents and I’ll grant you a wish."
Ok.
"Thank you, what is your wish?"
I wish for my 5 cents back.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snowbank!
I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet, and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap?
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?
Why did the black lady give the IRS a mason jar full of watermelon seeds?
Tax credit.
Your wife dumped you because you are so poor and you are so ugly. You also live under a rock and have no money. You got dumped so hard you can't remember you got dumped.
Nah! You're so poor, you can't afford free stuff!
Your mum is so overdue on eBay for £2 so she could get a male stripper.
I'm not saying I'm ugly...
But when I'm watching porn, the hot, sexy women in my area always pop up and ask me if I'm rich.
If I had a dollar for every brain cell LEO has, I’d have one dollar.
