Finance jokes

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some cash withdrawals.

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.

Does money grow on trees? No.

What is money made of? Paper.

What is paper made out of? Trees!

Your money, you bully's everything you hate.

I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.

money + money = MONEY

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

At school in a classroom, the teacher asked the kid, “If you have one dollar and your parents give you five dollars, how much do you have?” Everyone raised their hand except one little girl.

What's the difference between 911 and the stock market in the 1930's?

Nothing, they both crashed.

I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.

I got fired from my job at the bank today.

An old lady came in and asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

The orphan turned 18, but he was happy because he didn't have to pay rent to his parents.

Your hairline be looking like the Great Recession.