Finance jokes

I got $1,000,000 for my brother. Best trade I ever made!

What are the similarities between BTC and 9/11? They both crashed down.

Your hairline be lookin' like my negative bank account balance -1,000,000.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

money + money = MONEY

I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.

My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.

What's the difference between economy and Vietnamese?

Economy doesn't work.

I don't think I could ever become a beggar. I really don't like change.

Your money, you bully's everything you hate.

At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.

When you get injured 😢

When you get injured in America 😭😭😭😭💵💵💵💵💵🏩🏩🏩

"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"

"Give away my Money, No Papa,"

"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."

What do you call a whale on a beach?

Banked.

And Sterling has taken a dive.

That's all for financial news, back to the football.

My parents said they had to make a lot of sacrifices in order to pay for my education.

They were both druids.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.

What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.