Finance jokes

Your hairline is like the economy, it's going down.

I found a book called "How to Solve 50% of Your Problems." So I bought 2.

What did Warner Brothers get for making that horrible Joker sequel?

They got what they fucking deserved!!!!!!!!

Yo mama so rich the Socs got jealous.

150,000$

Why do egos like robbing banks?

They get a cut.

Mbu some guys look financially stable until you start dating them... Mbu wait I see how this week goes...🤔

Hey Siri, what’s in my bank account?

You stupid shit, piece of elephant crap, you’re so ugly that when you were born, your nickname was bastard! You’re so ugly, that your crush fainted in front of you and was proclaimed dead! You’re so ugly that-

(Destroys phone cutely)

My boy is so distracted and the kids are doing great. I will be make $500000.

My girlfriend is so stupid, she asked me if I wanted to shower with her to save money on our water bill, while we were staying at a hotel where we didn't even have to pay the water bill.

You're so poor. You're just PO, you can't even afford the other O and R.

Money, money, green, green. Money is all I need, need.

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some cash flows.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!

If brains were taxed, Slade would get a rebate.

Why did orphans have to drink their own piss?

Because last time they went to the bar, they went with their dad and drank some Corona, then got drunk and started eating someone's toenails, so his dad went to go get the milk and everybody had to evacuate the bar. Then the orphan started walking on his teeth and got listed for the top ten wanted animals in the world, so then he felt wanted and went to go home and had nobody to go to, so he found the beer bottle he drunk out of and started pissing in it so he wouldn't die and loved it. So then someone saw him in the bushes pissing in a beer bottle then drinking, so the person who saw him started recording and posted it on YouTube, and the boy became famous, so now he can feel like he was wanted in life after daddy went to go get the milk, then the little boy became really rich.

I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.

He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.

When you say to your dad...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Dad be like...

Who wants my son?

Nan be like, "Me!"

Kid be like...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!

What are roux, says nan?

Um, they're your life savings!

Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"

What did the bank say to the person?

Bank you very much.

How did the Java programmer's son get rich?

Because of inheritance.