Finance jokes

What happens when Steven Hawking dies?

Take his iPad to Cash Converters.

What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?

7/11

Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?

Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)

I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕

And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!

Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄

Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.

A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"

"Six pounds."

"And shaving?"

"Three pounds."

"Good, then shave my head."

You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.

Got fired from the bank yesterday.

They caught me drinking on the job.

If I had kept all my two cents to myself, I'd have enough money to publish my own newspaper now.

Yo mama so fat, when she decides to workout, the stock market goes bankrupt.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

I don't get why bakers aren't wealthier. They make so much dough.

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some cash withdrawals.

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A money manager who counts bars.

Only one band is capable of affording the insurance on supercars. UB40!

I saw your mother get into a white Ford Taurus on the corner of Milton and Halliburton, and you're still trying to tell me she ain't got no job cause she "can't get a ride to work?"

You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.

Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.