Finance jokes
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Your mum is so poor, she can't afford free samples.
Homeless person says to a rich person, "I'm homeless."
Rich person: "Then buy a house!"
What happens when Steven Hawking dies?
Take his iPad to Cash Converters.
My syndrome may be down, but my money be up 😈.
my mom be like
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
What do you call a low budget terrorist attack?
7/11
Why don’t orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because they’re not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a 🏦 bank ;)
I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the 💕 love of your life!💕
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!😄
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash withdrawals.
Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
Yo mama so fat that State Farm tried to get on her side but couldn’t.
Q: What do you call a Chinese Billionaire?
A: Cha-ching!
Son asks dad, "How much does marriage cost?"
Dad: "I don’t know, son. I’m still paying for it."
How is a marriage like a hurricane?
In the beginning, there’s a lot of sucking and blowing, but at the end, you lose your house.