I heard that the numbers on the front of your credit card represent the number of minutes until you meet the π love of your life!π
And the 3 numbers on the back represent the month and day you make it official!!
Comment those numbers to lock it in!!π
Why is Trump always in debt? His university isn't paid off yet!
A Scotsman at the hairdresser: "How much is a haircut?"
"Six pounds."
"And shaving?"
"Three pounds."
"Good, then shave my head."
Why donβt orphans understand the meaning of a family reunion?
Because theyβre not wanted, yet maybe they should rob a π¦ bank ;)
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
You're so poor, even the store didn't let you buy anything free.
I'll give you 20 dollars if you let me cum in you.
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
Your family is so poor, when you knocked on the door for money, I offered you a penny, and when you knocked again, the rock answered and knocked you out.
Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.
Does money grow on trees? No.
What is money made of? Paper.
What is paper made out of? Trees!
Your money, you bully's everything you hate.
What do you call super expensive shoes?
Cashews.
When you get injured π’
When you get injured in America πππππ΅π΅π΅π΅π΅π©π©π©
At least he got D.L.A. (Disability Living Allowance), so it's not all bad. Every cloud has a silver lining...even a mushroom cloud.
What do you call a whale on a beach?
Banked.
"Jimmy Jimmy, Yes Papa,"
"Give away my Money, No Papa,"
"Telling Lies, OK, Ima Check my Bank Account."
My wife Jean is happy, π pretty, π and pregnant,π€° boy, π¦ am I glad π I bought her π© a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
