What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Finance Jokes
So you can't pay rent and you know you're going to get evicted, but all of the sudden you hear a knock on your door and it's your landlord, but he's naked and erect, and on his cock, it says, "Your rent is due."
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
I take debt of 25,000 euro. I spend 20,000 in charity, and 5000 euro are left. I pay the debt of 2000 euro and I have to pay now 23,000 euro to bank, and 3000 euro I have in profit, 23,000 +3000 >> 26000 ;)
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
How do birds pay? With their bills!
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
One day an old woman came into the bank and asked me to check her balance... So, I pushed her over.
My grandpa is an asshole. The fucker deserved to die. The son of a bitch was using his life support, and I needed to change my iPhone.
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
What was the movie about the dog called?
The woof of Wall Street.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."
I asked my uncle why he was living on the streets.
He said that he wasn't always on the streets, he used to have a job at these two towers. I asked him what happened, and he said two planes happened.
So today an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... Hhah.
What's the difference between $1 million and baby teeth?
I don't have $1 million in my wallet.
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
