If I had a coin for every time someone said, "If I had a coin," I'd still be living paycheck to paycheck.
Finance Jokes
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
What do cows call money?
Moola.
Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?
Where do fish keep their money?
In a riverbank!
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card.
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Do you want to hear a money joke? "Never mind, it makes no cents."
Yaxaas?
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
I have so many cash machine jokes.
But none of them seem to work ATM.
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
Why do people name a kid "Rob?" Because they want him to rob a bank so they could adopt new kids to lock in their basement for a late-night toy.
