Female

Female jokes

Bat

Two female mice met and one spoke:

"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."

Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."

"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"

Eye

What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?

A sexy female.

Insult

1, 2 look at your shoes.

3, 4 they look better than yours.

5, 6 you have no friends.

7, 8 you look like a ape.

9, 10 don't you like men?

11, 12 hell naw I like females.

Google

Is Google male or female?

Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a fruit joke.

Rainbow

So I found out a rainbow is basically where a guy ejaculates in a female's mouth and she swallows her period juice and they both kiss each other, swishing it together in each other's mouth, and it forms a rainbow.

And a strawberry shortcake is basically where a dude ejaculates on a female's face and then punches her in the nose, causing her to bleed. That's why it's called a strawberry shortcake.

Shooter

When you hide in the girl's bathroom so the school shooter won't go in there: 😃

When you notice that the school shooter is female: 😟

Woman

If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:

So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.

Babysitter

A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.

A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.

Archaeologist

How do you embarrass a female archaeologist?

Give her a used tampon and ask which period it came from.

Momma

Yo momma so queer that she thinks Paige Stawicki will be the first female in the NHL.

Driver

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.

Cow

What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...

A female cow doesn't have a dick.

Rabbit

Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?

Man

A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"

She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."

The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"

Eagle

The šŸ¦… asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

Nut

What did the female rapper say when her boyfriend pulled his pants down and exposed his huge balls?

ā€œI like big nuts and I cannot lie!ā€

Rape

How can you tell when a female was raped? She crossed herself out.