Female jokes
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone, please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
What do you call two female lovers spying on the government?
Lesbionage.
Women.
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
Jokes about menstruation are not funny. Period.
What do women and chess have in common? When you sacrifice the females and replace them, you are more likely to win.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
Actually, Iron Man is female.
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.
What’s the difference between a female farmer and Hitler’s girlfriend?
One bails her hay, and the other heils her bae.
wo(man) fe(male) we(men)
dishwash(her)
What is the difference between paying $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from an able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole?
If you give $50.00 to receive an anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00. 💸😁
What did the female rapist say at her hearing?
"Well that boy's dick was inside me and you know what you metoo people say, 'my body my choice.'"
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
What is similar about a dog and a woman? You can ask them to come.
A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
"Are - my - test - results - back?"
After death, what is the only organ in the female body which remains warm?
My penis.
What do you call sweaty titties?
Humititties.