Female

Female Jokes

Little Johnny was watching TV when he heard the TV say bitch and bastard. He went over to his dad and said, "What is a bitch and bastard?" His dad looked at him suprised and said, "a bitch is a female, a bastard is a mailman." Johnny went back to the TV and heard them say ass and shit, so he goes back to his dad and asks, "What shit and ass mean" His dad says "A shit is shaving creme like what i'm putting on my face and ass is a coat, why don't you bug your mom." Johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say fuck, so johnny goes over to his mom and says to her, "What does fuck mean mom?" She looks over at him and says "Fuck means carving, like what i'm doing to this turkey!" A few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door. He walks over and answers it. He then says "Welcome bitch and bastard may I take your ass?" The people, looking horrified, then ask were his parents are. Johnny responds with "My dad is putting shit on his face and my mom is fucking the turkey!"

A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and

pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,

"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,

very, closely:

"Are - my - test - results - back?"

me:*gives her 5 dollars* climb that flag pole cute female:*takes the money and goes up the flag pole* is this good me:hell yeah thats a nice veiw *next day* heres 10 dollars if u do it again *she goes up there* me:hows the veiw *she goes home and her mom sees the money* her mom:where u getting this money her daughter:i climbed a flagpole her mom:you know he just want u to to see ur panties right *she goes back and does it again but doesnt wear panties* me:holy shit ;-; her mom:did u do it again her daughter:dont worry mom he didnt get to see my panties her mom:...

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Whatโ€™s the difference between a female farmer and Hitlerโ€™s girlfriend? One bails her hay and the other heils her bae.

So There was a male whale and a female whale swimming threw the ocean .One day the male whale sees a ship and says "that's the ship that killed my parents" . So they go to the ship and blow the ship over and throw the men overboard into the sea. The male whale sees the man who killed his parents and he was still alive so he opened his mouth and went for the man but out nowhere the female whale yells. " HEY!!, I was in it for the blowjob but I'm not gonna eat sea men"

MAN A: ''is google male or female''?

MAN B: ''female because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion''.

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch you have to give her money first

๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘Œ ๐Ÿ‘ ๐Ÿ™Œ ๐Ÿ˜ฎ ๐Ÿซข ๐Ÿค” ๐Ÿ’ญ ๐Ÿ’ก ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿ˜„ ๐Ÿ˜ƒ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ’˜ ๐Ÿ•ณ What is the difference between paying $50.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole and paying $175.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a able-bodied bisexual white female who is also a sex worker at a glory hole? If you give $50.00 to received a anonymous blow job from a physically challenged gay white male who is also a sex worker at a glory hole you are saving yourself $125.00 ๐Ÿ’ธ ๐Ÿ˜

If finding Nemo was scientifically correct, marlin would have changed into a female and mated with Nemo