Favorite jokes
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
What is a pedophile's favorite song?
Jerking off in A minor.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
Q. What's a disabled person's favorite band?
A. System of a Down's syndrome.
What is an Emo's favorite way to Cosplay?
Dress up as a piñata!
Memes
Took me about 15 seconds of staring in confusion to figure out how the illusion worked
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
What is Hitler's favorite book? "Hitler and the chamber of secrets."
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
A letter from his family; he hadn't seen them in years.
What is a prisoner's favorite punctuation?
A period.
Why?
Because it marks the end of a sentence.
Sara opens her lunch and reads the letter inside. "I packed your favorite -love mom," Sara reaches in and announces "yay PB and J!" Tom goes in his lunch and pulls out a letter "go buy yourself something healthy at the cafeteria -Dad," then pulls out 20 bucks and says "nice!" They both look at Craig as he pulls out a letter. Craig reads the letter in his head, it said "WE HAVE YOUR PARENTS, THEY TELL US THEY KEEP THE MONEY UNDER THEIR BED. BRING $10 000 TO THE RANDAVOU POINT OR THEY WILL BE KILLED. YOU DIDN'T TAKE US SERIOUSLY LAST TIME SO THERE IS MORE PROOF IN YOUR LUNCH." Craig throws down the letter and pulls a finger out of his lunch. Tom and Sara look shocked, then Craig says "ugh, severed finger, again!"
I met a kid with Down syndrome the other day. He told me he was into rock music. He told me his favorite song was "Down With The Syndrome." Kinda drooled while attempting to sing it.
Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala.
What is the pedophile's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite drink?
Milk, because his parents never came back with it.
What's 9/11 survivors' least favorite NFL team?
New York Jets.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Heads and Shoulders?
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.