Manhattan jokes

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...

What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?

Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?

A Double Manhattan.

What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.

WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.

What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?

Tower 1...

You can play Jenga in two places now: New York and Miami (Chaplin Towers.) They probably have Jenga tournaments there every year.

Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?

When your plane heads for New York...

When do we think the Empire State Building is going to be shot down?

I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!