Manhattan Jokes

What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?

A Double Manhattan.

What's tall, has a twin, and is in Manhattan?

Nothing, Bin Laden destroyed them all.

What’s Bin Laden’s favorite drink? Double Manhattan.

The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...

Recently, I've found out my wife has been cheating on me for the past 3 weeks with a baker downtown in Manhattan, New York, thinking I wouldn't find out. Irony of it all, she received a yeast infection.

Q: How do you make a 9/11 cocktail?

A: Light two Manhattans on fire and then knock them over.

What was going through the heads of people in Manhattan witnessing 9/11?

Tower 1...

So Johnny Depp made an appearance on the MTV Video Music Awards as an astronaut. It really looks like he wants to be the new Elon Musk, whatever career path is most viable for Depp. I got to admit, if launching crystal meth into your nostrils and your anus is as viable as launching rockets to Mars, Johnny Depp would surpass Elon Musk in net worth.

Then again, the money Depp spends on alcohol each month, he could have bought all of Michael Bloomberg's penthouses in Manhattan. Sure sounds like he also shares the same financial advisor as Donald Trump, who thought it was a magnificent idea to launch Trump Airlines and Trump Ice. He already shares the same pro-Kremlin lawyer, by the way.

This is why they don't want to sell the Double Manhattan in pubs anymore.

WORLDWIDE RAP: Takin’ a Battery Park tour in Calgary, a Mali rapport and a factory in Lahore in an Annapolis store, Calgary's core, went to Nairobi’s floor and visited Valerie Moore, then bought some Shanghai decor and got salaries in Seoul’s war, studied the Vatican’s lore, wanted to see Manhattan’s allure and visit the Galilee shore to check Napoli’s score, a tragedy in Warsaw, Palmyra before, check out the cavalry corps, went to a Bali resort, a Madrid encore but had to take a Hackney detour.