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Favorite jokes

Ted Cruz

21 views ·

If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?

Heaven

35 views ·

My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.

Emo

221 views ·

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Skeleton

8 views ·

What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?

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