Favorite

Favorite jokes

Wheelchair

What was Stephen Hawking's favorite childhood song? "The wheels on the chair go round and round....."

Ted Cruz

If Mexico is an unredeemable shithole, then how come the Republicans' favorite senator, Ted Cruz, ran to Mexico as fast as he could after a little bit of snow in his home?

Skeleton

What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?

Song

What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...

Let the bodies hit the floor.

Emo

- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

- How did the gay person die? Homicide.

- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

Heaven

My favorite toast for parties:

May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.