Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
What's the most confusing day of the year for an illegitimate kid?
Father's Day.
And Mary said God had given her a child, so Joseph went and joined Fathers For Justice.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
My dad in 911 he was the best pilot
orphans have 263 days on a calendar because they dont have mothers or fathers day.
My father, who flew the plane, couldn't have a funeral, he went everywhere.
I hate when my father doesn't cook me cocktails for tea.
why do orphans only have 354 days?
cause they are missing mothers and fathers day
You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?
Your dad went to get the milk, but he was actually trying to find his father. He wasn't there.
A man went hunting with his son and shot an animal.
The father asks the son to identify the animal he just shot, and the son answers: "Holy Cow!"
Father: "What do you mean, 'Holy Cow?'"
Son: "You shot a hole in the cow, of course!"
Your children grew up faster than it took you to leave for the milk.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn’t have a fireplace.
I dressed up as Darth Vader at an orphanage and said, "I am your father!"
"(My beard actually connects.)" "Like the connection you never had with your father."
What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.
I just competed in a wrestling tournament. The first guy hit me harder than my dad’s belt.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
