Family jokes
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
I was at my grandpa's this weekend and I sent my online girlfriend nudes, and when I sent them, my grandpa's phone went off, so he went on his phone, then my girlfriend replied.
Why can’t an orphan be gay?
They don’t have a closet to hide in.
What do you call an orphan that sings a solo?
Mom: Remember, you can tell me anything.
Abbie: I had sex with dad.
Mom: Go die in a hole!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.
I'ma tell these to my adopted sister.
Bruh, people always makin' jokes 'bout how their dad left, well in my story it was the mum that needed milk.
My grandpa said I'm too reliant on technology... so I screamed that he was a hypocrite and I unplugged his life support.
You know we straight with doin' your mom.
Well, tell her that Halloween is the best holiday because you can hide Easter eggs under the Christmas tree while eating a big Thanksgiving turkey.
When your little brother hears noise from your room and you're the only one in it.
The orphanage said I couldn't go home.
Your dad is gone.
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
Why do orphans have dry cereal?
Because they're still waiting on the milk.
There were two twin brothers, Lucas and Marcus. Marcus got a girlfriend while Lucas stayed single.
A few weeks later, Lucas was caught kissing Marcus's girlfriend, and Marcus comes over and says: "Babe, I know we're twins, but I'm Marcus, and that's Lucas you were kissing." And his girlfriend looks at him and says: "I know."
One day, Billy's teacher asked him, "I heard your mom had a baby. What did she have?"
Billy paused and thought for a moment and said, "I think she had a bicycle."
"Now Billy, you know that your mom didn't have a bicycle. What did she have?"
"Maybe it was a tricycle."
"Billy, don't stand there and lie to me. We're going to the principal's office right now!"
The teacher grabbed Billy and escorted him to the principal's office and explained what happened. The principal looked sternly at Billy and said, "Stop lying, Billy. You know your mom didn't have a bicycle or a tricycle. What did your mother have?"
Billy looked up, fear in his eyes and said, "Well, maybe she had a go-cart."
That was more than enough. "I'm calling your mother right now!"
Soon, Billy's mother arrived at the principal's office. "It seems that Billy has decided to start telling lies. His teacher asked him what you recently had, and he said a bicycle, then a tricycle, then a go-cart!"
Billy's mother teared up, and through her sobs, replied to the principal and teacher, "No. Sadly, I had a miscarriage."
Billy sat up straight and said, "I KNEW that damn thing had wheels!"
Ur dad lesbian.
Ur sister a mister.
Ur family tree LGBT.
Ur family reunion a homosexual communion.
Why was Aaron's mum sad? The bus missed Aaron.