Family jokes
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
Why does an orphan hate playing baseball?
Because it has no home base.
I'm treated like God when I'm home, I'm usually ignored until someone wants something.
Did you know you can slap an orphan all you want, because what are they gonna do, tell their parents?
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
Dad: Johnny, Johnny?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Getting women?
Johnny: Yes, Papa.
Dad: Telling lies?
Johnny: No, Papa.
Dad: Well, you're 100% lying because you get NO WOMEN!
What was Stephen Hawking's mother's name?
Ilean.
"Bill swift here, you make them, we take them!"
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
Yo mama so old, she was Jesus' nanny! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
What is an orphan's least favorite game?
44 Homes.
What's the difference between cotton and an orphan?
One gets picked.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find home.
Is your dad a magician?
Because he magically disappeared.