Family jokes
What’s the difference between me and cancer?
My dad didn’t beat cancer.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
My dad said he'd be back later after he walked out the door with a suitcase.
Who takes a suitcase to the grocery store? Silly daddy!
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
Your mom has a bone to pick with me.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Alabama.
Alabama who?
Alabama your cousin.
Why did the orphan go to church?
So he gets to call someone father.
Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."
Where do you think all the orphans went?
In the World Trade Center, I trapped them in so they can finally get to their parents.
I f..... Nan and dust came out. 😂
This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?
Your mama so old, her first Christmas was the first Christmas!
How did the orphan die?
Of sadness.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
Kid at school tells an orphan, "I fucked your mom."
Orphan: "What's a mom?"
What comes to visit more often than your aunt? Your acne.