Family jokes
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
Welcome to Dave's orphanage. You make 'em, we take 'em!
What happened when your parents dropped you off at the orphanage? They got sued for littering.
Why do orphans rob banks?
Because they want to be wanted.
Your mom is pregnant and you're the father.
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?
They can't find home. 🤣
What kind of work from school can't orphans do?
Homework!
Why was the orphan kid bad at school? Because he wanted a phone call home.
My brother's addicted to buying ladders; he loves to get high.
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
Kenny: "Tyler, you're lucky you're adopted."
Tyler: "Why?"
Kenny: "Because you can fuck your mom without getting arrested for incest."
Your mom is a transgender, your dad took a wrong turn just like his gender, your brother is just gay.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
My father said I'm too reliant on technology.
I called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
When you push your grandma out of her wheelchair and steal it.
“They see me rollin’, they hatin’.”
I fucked your mum last night, that she was salty.
Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.