Family jokes
Why can't orphans have sex?
They do not have anyone to call "daddy."
Why can't orphans have sex?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."😳
How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.
The other day my mom called me a retard.
I'm now an orphan.
What's the difference between cancer and me?
My dad didn't beat cancer... Whelp, I guess I stole that one.
Memes
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
What's the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady? You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Little Johnny walked into class with a black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have a black eye?"
Johnny said, "Well, me and my parents have to share a bed, and my dad asked me if I was asleep and I said no, so he smacked me."
The teacher said, "Well tonight, don't say anything."
The next day, Johnny walked in with another black eye, and the teacher said, "Why do you have another black eye?" Little Johnny said, "Well, last night, I did what you said and didn't say anything when my dad asked me if I was asleep. A few minutes later, my dad said he was coming, and my mom said she was coming too. They usually don't go anywhere without me so I said 'Wait for me, I'm coming too.'"
Incest is wincest.
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
My friend's dad went to jail. He's just surprised because he can finally find him!
I meant to say, what’s an orphan's least favorite store to go to?
Family Dollar store.
Why can’t organs have a family bag of chips?
Because they have no family to share it with.
What's an orphan's favorite website?
It has a homepage.
What do you call your mom? Gay.
I think my dad is too black because whenever he goes to bed and closes his eyes, he disappears. 🤣